SO WHAT IS LIKE TO BE GAY?

    Many people wonder if they are gay/lesbian because they feel attracted to people of their same gender.  That is and that is not.  You see, I'm not an expert on the subject but I think I can explain a bit about it since I am one.  People can feel attracted to people of the opposite sex (heterosexual), the same sex (homosexual) and both (bisexual).  In any case it can and can not be permanent, some times people feel attracted to people of their same sex just for a certain period of time but not permanently. So if you are not sure if you are gay just give it time, it’s the only way to know.   By the way lets specify what are the meaning of the words,  hetero=different /opposite, homo=same/equal, bi=both/two. 

    In the other hand if you are completely sure you are gay, well I got nothing to say more than CONGRATULATIONS!!  Welcome to the 10 % of the world population that feel like you.  Being gay is nothing to be ashamed of.  At the beginning to accept ourselves takes a lot of thinking and self esteem but at the end when you realize that you are just one normal human being you are more comfortable with your self.   If you are one of those that aren’t sure if you are, just give it time and thought.    Usually in every country there are gay/lesbian help lines that can give you a hand . In Ecuador I've heard of  FEDAEPS (Fundacion Ecuatoriana de Accion y Educación para la Promoción de la Salud), this is a government institution that has a help line that offers information about AIDS and other disseases as help and advice in Crisis situations and sexuality the service is free and anonymous, their phone numbers are (02) 526527, (02) 559999 ( Mon-Fri, 9:00 to  20:00).     There is also Informa-T.  Its a private institution directed to help people in all kind of crisis, their phone number is   (02) 449647 .    Also you can try a psychiatrist, but when you look for one make sure he/she is suportative and doesn’t want to change you.  I insist you are normal and nothing to be ashamed of.  Be proud of what and who you are.  Still if you don’t like any of the other two choices there is always someone you can trust, a close friend, a family member, sister, brother or any other person who you can trust, though this is a little more difficult.  I'll give you some tips on how to tell your friends/family in the coming out section or you can read also my comming out.  Still you can visit a gay friendly place or a gay bar, but I strongly recomend you to go with someone.  Usually those places are used as pic up spots and you might find someone you wouldn´t want to meet.  If you can´t find a gay place, look for a gay magazine or any other gay publication in your country and look for the clasified section, for sure you would find some places there.  If not, you can always be aware when you walk in the street of any gay banner or any kind of  signal in an stablishment that means gay.   The gay banner looks something like this, and all proudly gay stablishments will exhibit it.   In the Gay Guide-Quito I list some places you can give a visit

When I was little I used to think if I was born gay or if I became.  I guess you might have the same question. Tough question.  There is no simple answer to that, there have been numerous studies and none of them have proven much.   Some of these studies say that there are genetic alterations transmitted in a chromosome from the mother side, some other say that the cerebellum (a part of the brain) has a different size in homos.  There are also theories that say that people can become gays/lesbians by the way they have been raised and social and environmental factors that can affect someone’s sexuality (thought I don't think that is my case).   I can keep on going on and on with a lot of theories but none of them has been proven yet.  Personally I think that there are people who become gay/lesbian/trans or any other and there are people that are born, like me.   Well we will have to keep waiting for an answer for all this questions, until science discovers why or what causes this.

About  the rest of the GLBT, there are people who are proud and tell everyone what they are, others that for some reasons are hidden and haven’t told anyone and other that have told just few of their friends and relatives.     Though the ones that call everybody’s attention are obviously the ones that are out of the closet.  Among them there are gays that look and act very feminine and lesbians that look and act masculine, and even transgender.   Many heterosexuals reject this kind of people.  Still if you act and look femenine/masculine just be careful and aware that there are prejudices against us.   The thing here is to be respectful to others, do what ever you do always respect others, never do something that later you will regret.   Remember that every single GLBT represent the rest of us, so if you ever do something wrong everyone would think that anyone like you act and behave in that same  way.  Apart from the fact that you represent a whole community you also represent yourself and what ever you do keeps in peoples memory.   We have to show everyone that we can be just like any other person and even better and that that stupid prejudism people have about GLBT  are not true.   

Once more, being GLBT is nothing to be ashamed of.  

In the mean time just enjoy your life and over all don’t suffer for being like you are.  It’s hard but at the end you feel that you have done something really good for you and for those like you.